I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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