I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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