Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
3 2 1 whiskey
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
