Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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