Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
