He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
