I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
