You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
