We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
