Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
