try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
