You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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