sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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