cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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