Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
