If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This is classic penis vs brain.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
