whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
