All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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