I think I am morally bankrupt
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
