The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Watching her eat just hurts me
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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