Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
