That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
In America we eat man semen.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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