I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Drunk is a universal language darling
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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