do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
