well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize