Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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