i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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