tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
