Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
