so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
