He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
