he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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