is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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