That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
