After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
