It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
