I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
