It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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