Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
