so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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