hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
