The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
