Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
