I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
