My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
