South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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