Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
