I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
