Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
