There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
