I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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