it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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