no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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