Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
